by Scott Swain
When you tell a friend about a dish you made, which would you rather hear in response?
(1) "Ew yuck I don't like onions."
(2) "That reminds me of a dish I made last week. Let me tell you about it..."
(3) "Were you excited to come up with something that is gluten free and that you love the taste of?"
The first response is almost purely evaluative. The second is sympathetic. In both, the listener is running your story through their filters, judging and evaluating. In terms of connection, (2) is better than (1) and (1) is certainly better than a punch in the face.
Why is (3) best of all? Because real empathy is letting go of our own perspective, filters, and agenda so that we can fully see from the other person's perspective. And bonus, this can create a deeper connection.
| "I want to take my time: to come from an energy I choose rather than one I've been programmed to come from." - Marshall B. Rosenberg |